I wish to thank all of you for your love and prayers. There are literally
hundreds of people praying for us, no matter the outcome. I have FINALLY stopped bawling my head off – my eyes are about to fall out. Janet had her first chemo treatment the day after her final diagnosis was announced; they’re trying to keep the tumor from growing any larger and causing her more pain.
She has thymic cancer, cancer of the thalamus gland and it has metatisized. This gland is responsible for producing T cells needed for the immune system. She’s had the auto-immune system disorder for over two years, which is why she was so sick and nearly died in March of 2008 from disseminated hystoplasmosis. I’m wondering if perhaps she had this cancer a long time ago.
Right now, we’re all trying to come to grips with the reality that she will be leaving us and transitioning to her reward. Levi (her 11 year old son) is already acting out; he’s scared, worried, and confused. Janet told me Friday night that she’d like to have a miracle, but that she knows God has already extended her life two years and she’s grateful for that. In 2008, we were told that she would have a short life expectancy – could be 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 years and if she was lucky 5-10 years. None of us wanted to believe that she wouldn’t conquer that horrible fungal infection. However, she hasn’t, and it has wreaked havac on her body; she’s been suffering for the two years since being discharged from the hospital.
I found myself praying that God would take me and allow her to live. Pastor Wayne cautioned me that thinking that way was “bargaining with God.” I actually knew that, but it’s so very hard to see your child and her family suffering. Aren’t moms supposed to FIX things?! Anyway, my prayer is for a miracle IF it’s God’s will; if not, that we can be joyful with wonderful memories of Janet and what a beautiful woman she became. I don’t know why I did it, but I sent her a beautifully worded Mother’s Day card this year – something I had never done before. I’m so proud of her and thankful that she has a close and living relationship with Jesus.
I can’t tell you how much it means to me to have you as dear friends. How could we get through life without such caring relationships?
I’ll keep you posted as things change/occur.
Love in Christ,