The Rite of the Reconciliation of a Penitent

Drawing on the exhortations of Scripture, the Prayer Book's provision, and the universal Church's tradition, Christ the King Reformed Episcopal Church offers the rite of reconciliation. Hours are usually posted, and an appointment may be made by contacting the parish office.

Confessions may be heard in the sanctuary, or in face to face conversation with the priest. 

In this rite, one is given the opportunity to name all that weighs on the conscience and receive counsel, direction, instruction, and comfort, as well as absolution. For some, it is a regular discipline, for others, it is a resource in particular need.  It is available to all, but required of no one.

Penance - What is it?

‘Penance’ fundamentally means ‘repentance’. It has come to include also “bearing fruits that meet with repentance”.  It is not enough to merely make a verbal confession.  True repentance turns from the evil thing and goes to the good; we do not just stop doing wrong but begin doing right. After we make confession and are reconciled to God and others, we are to:

...put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new  man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:22-24)

The Lord calls us to commit to those disciplines and processes for the cure or healing of our souls, to repair the injury we have done to ourselves and others. So Penance really has five parts:

Remorse– Also called ‘contrition’, this is that godly sorrow that leads me to repentance. (2 Corinthians 7:9-11)

Repentance- A true change of mind (heart) that brings a change of behaviour and direction.

Reconciliation– I am relieved of guilt and at peace with God, His Church, and others through confession of my sin(s).

Restoration– I commit to “amendment of life” - the process of correcting deficiencies and repairing the soul’s injury.

Restitution– I commit to the process of repairing the damage to God, His saints, and others.

 “Assigning penance” means the priest gives counsel and provides directions for healing and restoration. The penitent leaves with instruction about what to do to walk out the repentance, to “bear fruit in meeting with repentance”. (Luke 3:8)

Done well, Penance will help establish us in Kingdom living so as good citizens we may participate more abundantly in what we might say is the last ‘R’:  “Righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 14:17) 

The Role of the Priest

 Authority

Jesus speaks to His Apostles: “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld." (John 20:22-23) 

The authority to do this has passed from the Apostles to our time through an unbroken line of apostolic succession.  Witness the words from the Book of Common Prayer in the Form and Manner of Ordering Priests:

“Receive the Holy Ghost for the Office and Work of a Priest in the Church of God, now committed unto thee by the Imposition of our hands.  Whose sins thou dost forgive, they are forgiven; and whose sins thou dost retain, they are retained.  In  the daily offices of Morning and Evening prayer a solemn confession and Absolution precede the use of the Lord’s Prayer and the Psalms that we might be better fit to use God’s divine words and to praise Him.”

This function of the priest shows up in the Daily Offices of Morning and Evening prayer. In the Absolution the rubrics say, The Declaration of Absolution is to be made by the Priest alone, standing, the People kneeling.  “Almighty God,” the text solemnly rehearses, “hath given power and commandment to His ministers”, not “to declare” only, but “to pronounce to His people being penitent, the Absolution and remission of their sins.”  “Power” implies an authoritative act; and to “pronounce our pardon,” if penitent, is a present act of God who forgives those who truly repent.  In both corporate and private Absolution, the Church speaks with full consciousness of the authority, by Apostolic descent transmitted to her. In the words of the Penitential Rite: “by His authority committed unto me, I absolve thee from thy sins, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.”

Thus, our Lord has left a living provision in His Church, whereby all penitents, however fallen, should be restored. 

Gifting

The pastor is uniquely gifted by God to serve as an under-shepherd of Jesus Christ and anointed to care for the flock of God. Those who chose to come to Confession avail themselves of his gifting, experience, and wisdom.  The priest, after confessions are made, understands better how to minister, preach, and teach to the needs of those in his charge.

 Confidentiality

The priest will not share with anyone anything shared in these times of confession without your permission. Note the following exceptions:

1.       The notorious practice of grave sin warrants excommunication. Excommunication is a public act.

2.         If the priest needs the counsel of our Bishops or other trusted clergy to effectively minister to your situation. You will remain nameless unless the priest has permission to do otherwise.

3.         Sedition and sins that place the lives of others in mortal danger.

4.         If penance for egregious sins (e.g. capital crimes) is ignored over time (see #1).  

How to Make a Confession

Confession of sin is a difficult thing to do. In Psalm 51:8  God had to “break David’s bones” before he was willing to confess his sins before God.  David, called “a man after God’s own heart,” must have his heart broken of its hardness before he could once again “hear of joy and gladness” in the mercy of God and the forgiveness of sins. 

Also, we do not like to admit our guilt before God or man; we prefer that no one think badly of us. The less anyone knows about our lives the better.  To those who find Confession difficult the Church responds: “Come to this source of grace and do not be afraid!  In Confession, Christ himself waits for you.  He will forgive your sins, He will heal you, and you will be at peace with God!” The basic requirement of and effective Confession is our intention to return to God, our Father, like the Prodigal Son, and to acknowledge our sins with true sorrow before God’s representative, the priest. 
 

Coming to Confession

Sign up for one of the appointed times or make another arrangements to meet with your priest face to face.

Suggestions Examining your Conscience

Recall your sins. Ask yourself what you have done with full knowledge of your actions and full consent to them against God’s holy Commandments.

Before self-examination, say this prayer:

O Holy Spirit, Source of all Light, Spirit of Wisdom, of understanding, and of knowledge, come to my assistance and enable me to make a good confession. Enlighten me and help me now to know my sins, as one day I shall be forced to recognize them before Thy judgment seat. Bring to my mind the evil which I have done and the good which I have neglected. Permit me not to be blinded by self-love. Grant me, moreover, a heartfelt sorrow for my transgressions, knowing how deeply they have wounded the loving Heart of my heavenly Father; and help me to make a good confession that all the stain of guilt may be washed away in the precious blood of my Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
 

Some Suggestions

Think of yourself as God’s child., and of the wickedness of following Satan rather than your loving Father.

Do not be in a hurry, and do not vex yourself because you cannot remember everything. Be honest with God and with yourself; this is all God asks of you.

Write down briefly what you remember of your sins. Don’t try to depend on your memory. If there is any question in the following examination you do not understand, let it alone and go on to the next one.

Do not fret about your sins. Remember, you are trying to recall them in order that you may be forgiven, not that you may be condemned: “A broken and contrite heart, O Lord, thou shalt not despise.”

The examination should not be morosely introspective, absorbing all our time searching out the tiniest infraction. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to point out to you what needs to be addressed and trust He will bring things to mind—usually confession deals with obvious sins. If you wish a does of humility, ask a spouse or friends—they often see you more clearly than you see yourself.

PRIDE

Pride is putting self in the place of God as the center and objective of our life, or of some department thereof. It is the refusal to recognize our status as creatures, dependent on God for our existence, and placed by him in a specific relationship to the rest of his creation.

Irreverence. Deliberate neglect of the worship of God every Sunday in his Church, or being content with a perfunctory participation in it. Disregard of other Holy Days or of additional opportunities for giving God honor. Failure to thank God or to express our gratitude adequately.

Disrespect for God or holy things by deliberately treating them in thought, word, or deed, in a profane, contemptuous, or over-familiar manner. Use of holy things for personal advantage, or the attempt to bribe or placate God by religious practices or promises.

Sentimentality. Being satisfied with pious feelings and beautiful ceremonies without striving to obey God’s will.

Presumption. Dependence on self rather than on God, with the consequent neglect of the means of grace – sacraments and prayer. Dispensation of ourselves from ordinary duties on the grounds that we are superior persons. Satisfaction or complacency over our spiritual achievements. Refusal to avoid, when possible, immediate occasions of temptation. Preference for our own ideas, customs, schemes or techniques. Foolish optimism.

Failure to recognize our job as a divine vocation, or to offer our work to God. Unwillingness to surrender to and abide in Christ, to let him act in and through us. Failure to offer to God regularly in intercession the persons or causes that have, or should enlist our interest and support.

Distrust. Refusal to recognize God’s wisdom, providence, and love. Worry, anxiety, misgivings, scrupulosity, or perfectionism. Attempts to discern or control the future by spiritualism, astrology, fortune-telling, or the like. Magic or superstition.

Over-sensitiveness. Expectation that others will dislike, reject or mistreat us; over-readiness so to interpret their attitude, or quickness to take offense. Unfounded suspicions.

Timidity in accepting responsibility, or cowardice in facing difficulty or suffering. Surrender to feelings of depression, gloom, pessimism, discouragement, self-pity, or fear of death, instead of fighting to be brave, cheerful, and hopeful.

Disobedience. Rejection of God’s known will in favor of our own interests or pleasures. Disobedience of the legitimate (and therefore divinely ordained) laws, regulation, or authority of the Church, state, husband, parents, teachers, etc.; or slow and reluctant obedience. Failure when in authority to fulfill responsibilities or to consider the best interests of those under us.

Refusal to learn God’s nature or will as revealed in Scripture, expounded in instructions or expert advice, or discernible through prayer, meditation, or the reading of religious books. Absorption in our own affairs, leaving little time, energy or interest for the things of God.

Violation of confidence. Breaking of legitimate promises or contracts. Irresponsibility. Treachery. Unnecessary disappointment of another, or the causing of shame or anxiety to those who love us.

Impenitence. Refusal to search out and face up to our sins, or to confess and admit them before God. Disregard of our sins or pretense that we are better than we are. Self-justification or discounting our sins as insignificant, natural, or inevitable. Self-righteous comparison of ourselves with others.

Refusal to accept just punishment or to make due reparation when possible. Deceit or lying to escape the consequences of our sins, or allowing another to suffer the blame for our faults. Overcompensation or attempts at self-reform or self-vengeance, to avoid surrender to God in humble penitence.

Shame (hurt pride), sorrow for ourselves because our sins make us less respectable than we like to think we are, or because we fear punishment or injury to our reputation, rather than sorrow for what sin is in the eyes of God. Refusal to admit we were in the wrong or to apologize. Refusal to accept forgiveness from God or others. Doubt that God can forgive our sins, or failure to use the means of getting assurance of his forgiveness when we need it. Unwillingness to forgive ourselves.

Vanity. Crediting to ourselves rather tan to God our talents, abilities, insights, accomplishments, or good works. Refusal to admit indebtedness to others, or adequately to express gratitude for their help. Hypocrisy. Pretense to virtues we do not possess. False humility. Harsh judgment on others for faults we excuse in ourselves.

Boasting, exaggeration, drawing attention to ourselves by talking too much, by claiming ability, wisdom, experience, or influence that we do not have, or by eccentric or ostentatious behavior. Undue concern over, or expenditure of time, money, or energy on looks, dress, surroundings, etc., in order to impress others; or deliberate slovenliness for the same purpose. Seeking, desiring, or relishing flattery or compliments.

Arrogance. Insisting that others conform to our wishes, recognize our leadership, accept our own estimate of our worth. Being overbearing, argumentative, opinionated, obstinate.

Snobbery. Pride over race, family, position, personality, education, skill, achievements, or possessions.

The corresponding virtue to the sin of Pride is Humility.

 ANGER

Anger is open rebellion against God or our fellow creatures. Its purpose and desire is to eliminate any obstacle to our self-seeking, to retaliate against any threat to our security, to avenge any insult or injury to our person.

Resentment. Refusal to discern, accept, or fulfill God’s vocation. Dissatisfaction with the talents, abilities or opportunities he has given us. Unwillingness to face up to difficulties or sacrifices. Unjustified rebellion or complaint at the circumstances of our lives. Escape from reality or the attempt to force our will upon it. Transference to God, to our parents, to society, or to other individuals of the blame for our maladjustment; hatred of God, or antisocial behavior. Cynicism. Annoyance at the contrariness of things; profanity or grumbling.

Pugnacity. Attack upon another in anger. Murder in deed or desire. Combativeness or nursing of grudges. Injury to another by striking, cursing, or insulting him; or by damaging his reputation or property. Quarrelsomeness, bickering, contradiction, nagging, rudeness or snubbing.

Retaliation. Vengeance for wrongs real or imagined, or the plotting thereof. Harsh or excessive punishment. Hostility, sullenness or rash judgment. Refusal to forgive, or to offer or accept reconciliation. Unwillingness to love, to do good to, or to pray for enemies. Boycotting or ostracizing another for selfish reasons. Spoiling other’s pleasure by uncooperativeness or disdain, because we have not gotten our way, or because we feel out of sorts or superior.

 The corresponding virtue to the sin of Anger is Patience.

ENVY

Envy is dissatisfaction with our place in God’s order of creation, manifested in begrudging his gifts and vocation to others.

Jealousy. Offense at the talents, success or good fortune of others. Selfish or unnecessary rivalry or competition. Pleasure at others' difficulties or distress. Belittling others.

Malice. Ill-will, false accusations, slander, backbiting. Reading false motives into others' behavior. Initiation, collection or retailing of gossip. Arousing, fostering, or organizing antagonism against others. Unnecessary criticism, even when true. Deliberate annoyance of others, teasing or bullying.

Contempt. Scorn of another’s virtue, ability, shortcomings, or failings. Prejudice against those we consider inferior, or who consider us inferior, or who seem to threaten our security or positions. Ridicule of persons, institutions or ideals.

 The corresponding virtue to the sin of Envy is Kindness.

COVETOUSNESS

Covetousness is the refusal to respect the integrity of other creatures, expressed in the inordinate accumulation of material things; in the use of other persons for our personal advantage; or in the quest for status, power, or security at their expense.

Inordinate Ambition. Pursuit of status, power, influence, reputation, or possessions at the expense of the moral law, of other obligations, or of the rights of others. Ruthless or unfair competition. Putting self or family first. Conformity to standards we recognize as wrong or inadequate in order to get ahead. Intrigue of conspiracy for self-advancement.

Domination. Seeking to use or possess others. Overprotection of children; refusal to correct or punish lest we lose their affection; insistence that they conform to our ideal for them contrary to their own vocation. Imposing our will on others by force, guile, whining, or refusal to cooperate. Over readiness to advise or command; abuse of authority. Patronizing, pauperizing, putting others under a debt of gratitude, or considering ourselves ill-used when others’ affection or compliance is not for sale.

Respect of person, favoritism, partiality, flattery, fawning, or bribery to win support or affection. Refusal to uphold the truth to fulfill duties, to perform good acts, or to defend those wrongfully attacked, because we fear criticism or ridicule, or because we seek to gain the favor or approval of others. Leading, tempting, or encouraging another to sin.

Avarice. Inordinate pursuit of wealth or material things. Theft, dishonesty, misrepresentation, or sharing in stolen goods. Cheating in business, taxes, school or games. Making worldly success the goal for our life or the standard for judging others.

Prodigality. Waste natural resources or personal possessions. Extravagance or living beyond our income, to impress others, or to maintain status. Failure to pay debts. Gambling more than we can afford to lose, or to win unearned profits. Unnecessary borrowing or carelessness with others’ money. Expenditure on self of what is needed for the welfare of others.

Penuriousness. Undue protection of wealth or security. Selfish insistence on vested interests or on claimed rights. Refusal to support or help those who have a claim on us. Sponging on others. Stinginess. Failure to give due proportion of our income to good works. Failure to pay pledges promised to the Church or charities, when able to do so.

 The corresponding virtue to the sin of Covetousness is Liberality.

GLUTTONY

Gluttony is the overindulgence of natural appetites for food and drink, and by extension the inordinate quest for pleasure or comfort.

Intemperance. Overindulgence in food, drink, smoking, or other physical pleasures. Fastidiousness, fussiness, demanding excessively high standards, or dilettantism. Condemnation of some material things or pleasures such as evil in themselves, attempting to prohibit their use rather than their abuse.

Lack of Discipline. Negligence in keeping the days of fasting or abstinence, or failure to use other needed means of self-discipline. Neglect of bodily health – not getting sufficient rest, recreation, exercise, or wholesome nourishment. Failure to use or to cooperate with available medical care when ill. Use of sickness as a means of escape from responsibilities.

The corresponding virtue to the sin of Gluttony is Abstinence. 

LUST

Lust is the misuse of sex for personal gratification, debasing it from the holy purpose for which God has given it to us.

Unchastity. Violation of the Church’s marriage laws. Lack of consideration for one’s partner in the use of the marital relationship. Refusal to fulfill the purpose of Holy Matrimony in the bringing froth and giving adequate care to children, or to take our full share in the responsibilities or work involved. Unfaithfulness to one’s spouse. Sexual indulgence outside matrimony, in thought or act, alone or with others.

Immodesty. Stimulation of sexual desire in others by word, dress or actions; or in oneself by reading, pictures, or fantasies. Collecting or recounting dirty stories.

Prudery. Fear of sex or condemnation of it as evil in itself. Refusal to seek adequate sexual instruction, or the attempt to prevent others from obtaining it. Stimulation of excessive and harmful curiosity by undue secrecy. Repression of sex.

Cruelty. Deliberate infliction of pain, mental or physical. Tormenting of animals.

The corresponding virtue to the sin of Lust is Chastity.  

SLOTH

Sloth is the refusal to respond to our opportunities for growth, service, or sacrifice. 

Laziness. Indolence in performing spiritual, mental, or physical duties, or neglect of family, business or social obligations or courtesies. Procrastination of disliked tasks. Busyness or triviality to avoid more important commitments. Devotion of excessive time to rest, recreation, amusement, television, light reading, or the like. Waste of employer’s time, or shoddy or inadequate work. 

Indifference. Unconcern over injustice to others, especially that caused by currently accepted social standards; or unmindfulness of the suffering of the world. Failure to become adequately informed on both sides of contemporary issues or on the Christian principles involved. Neglect of duties to state or community. Failure to provide adequately for, or to treat justly those in our employ.

Ignoring of needy, lonely, or unpopular persons in our own or the parish family, or in the neighborhood; or unwillingness to minister to them. Insufficient attention to the religious and other needs of our family. Failure to fulfill our obligation of Christian missionary witness, or to take a full an informed part in the effort to make the Church’s unity and holiness a manifest reality on earth.

The corresponding virtue to the sin of Sloth is Diligence.

Prayer After Self-Examination

O my God, how great are my sins! Would that I had never offended thee. If by carelessness or ignorance I have forgotten anything in my self-examination, show it to me now that I may make a good confession. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Contrition

O my God, I cry unto thee with the prodigal; Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. But now, O God, give me true sorrow of my heart for my many sins whereby I have grieved thee, and enable me to make a full confession to thy priest that I may receive perfect remission of them, through thine infinite goodness. Amen.

O God, I am very sorry that I have sinned against thee who art so good. Forgive me for Jesus’ sake, and I will try to sin no more. Amen.

O God, I love thee with my whole heart and above all things and am heartily sorry that I have offended thee. May I never offend thee any more. Oh, may I love thee without ceasing, and make it my delight to do in all things thy most holy will. Amen.

The Rite of the Reconciliation of the Penitent 

Priest and Penitent begin as follows:

1 Have mercy upon me, O God,
         According to Thy loving-kindness;
         According to the multitude of Thy tender mercies,
         Blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
         And cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions,
         And my sin is always before me.

Holy God, Holy and Mighty, Holy Immortal One, have mercy upon us.

Penitent: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

Priest: The Lord be in your heart and upon you lips that you may truly and humbly confess your sins: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

Or

May God in His love enlighten your heart, that you may remember in truth all your sins and His unfailing mercy.  Amen.

Penitent: Holy God, heavenly Father, Thou didst form me from the dust in Thine image and likeness, and redeemed me from sin and death by the cross of Thy Son Jesus Christ.  Through the water of baptism Thou didst clothe me with the shining garment of His righteousness, and established me among Thy children in Thy kingdom.  But I have squandered the inheritance of Thy saints, and have wandered far in a land that is waste. 

I confess to Almighty God, and to all the Saints, and to you, Father, that I have sinned by my fault, by my own fault, by my own most grievous fault, in thought word and deed in things done and left undone; especially I confess to you and the Church ___________________.

Penitent: For these and all other sins which I cannot now remember, I am heartily sorry, I firmly purpose amendment, and ask pardon of God, and ask of you Father, penance, counsel, and absolution.  Wherefore, I ask all the Saints, and you to pray for me to the Lord our God.

Priest: Will you turn again to Christ as your Lord?

Penitent: I will.

Priest: Do you then forgive those who have sinned against you?

Penitent: I forgive them. 

O Lord, I turn to you in sorrow and repentance.  Receive me again into the arms of Thy mercy and restore me to the blessed company of  Thy faithful people: through Him in whom Thou hast redeemed the world.

Priest: Our Lord Jesus Christ, who has left the power to His Church to absolve all sinners who truly repent and believe in Him, of His great mercy, forgive you all your offenses; and by His authority committed to me, I absolve  + you from all your sins; In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Priest: Almighty and everlasting God, in Thy compassion relieve this Thy confessing servant of his sins, that the accusation of conscience may hurt him no more unto punishment, than the grace of Thy love may admit him to pardon; though our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Penitent: Thanks be to God.

Priest: Go (or abide) in peace and pray for me, a sinner.